Valentine's Day - What Should We Celebrate?

Jack and Rose fell in love in just 4 days

Romantic Love is what gets celebrated on Valentine's Day.  We often imagine some kind of great affirmation of love from our spouses and loved ones today, don't we?  I spent the week thinking about love the way God designed us to know it.

I grapple with the concept of love as the Bible describes it.  I have a lack of feelings most of the time that really frustrates my family.  I liken myself to Mr. Spock, as I wrote in an earlier blogpost: Love Beyond Life, not really accepting feelings like most people, but choosing instead to bury them until they burst out.

I knew there were several Greek words used to describe love.  I thought about the differences they represented.  If you are not familiar, you can see the description by CS Lewis on Wikipedia here.  Basically, the Greeks felt there needed to be different descriptors for the kinds of love and feelings (or non-feelings) we have.  One of these, most closely aligned with Valentine's Day is the concept of eros, or limerence.  This is the same concept for an intense "falling in love" kind of feeling.  Limerence is a word coined by Dr. Dorothy Tennoy in 1979 to describe that obsessive feeling of the intense "crush" or falling in love with another person.  To me, this also describes eros.  You see it celebrated in movies like Titanic.  People in the state of limerence believe they will feel this way forever.  That just isn't true.  It will fade.

I learned that love goes beyond the feelings of affection, but into the unselfish acts of God.  This is described as agape.  God gave his life for us so that we would not have to face the consequences of our sin.  This type of love is reflected so well in the gospels.  God calls us to love others in the same manner.  Agape is not as much a "feeling" of love, but the action of love.  What are the specific acts of agape?  Think about the charitable acts of others.

It is bond of friendship, or phileo, that fascinates me the most.  This is the hope of long-term love when the eros fades.  This is a noble love and Jesus Himself used this term for his feelings for his disciples.  It is the legendary friendship of David and Jonathan.  It is the kind of love that sustains the test of time.

Today, think about the people in your life, and think about what acts of agape you could do.  Think about your spouse, and remember the eros.  What can you do to spark the passion in your marriage?  Finally, think about those you have a phileo bond, and show them how grateful you are that you have them in your life.

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,

and endures through every circumstance.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)