Graduation

Graduation.  This is a moment of life that brings many mixed feelings for all involved.  This is the time of transition for the child who finds himself graduated from high school, facing life as an adult.  Kids long for the day they no longer have to go to school.  Life ahead seems golden.  Parents face the challenge of the empty nest.  While facing uncertainty is inevitable, most people look forward to graduation as a sense of completion.  My own son graduated last year from high school and next year, will graduate simultaneously from the local community college and the Emerging Leaders Network (ELN) program at our church, preparing for some type of full-time ministry.

Bond of Friendship

Samwise carries Frodo up the slopes of Mount Doom

Lord of the Rings is a movie that continues to captivate me.  I was especially fascinated with the bond shown between the Hobbits Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee.  From the beginning of the story, Samwise commits himself to ensuring Frodo is safe from harm, and fulfills his obligation to destroy the Ring of Power.  Throughout the movie, Samwise provides food, protection and sage advice for Frodo.

More than once, Samwise saved Frodo's life.

This reminded me of a bond of friendship that is shown in the Old Testament, David and Jonathan.  Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.  When Jonathan's dad, King Saul, wanted to kill David, Jonathan warned David.  Jonathan helped David hide, and they parted in tears, swearing loyalty to each other in the Lord's name.

I find myself thinking about the emotions of this bond.  Very few friendships in this world could be defined as strongly as the bond shown by David and Jonathan, or even the bond shown by fictional characters Samwise and Frodo.

What keeps us from bonding so tightly?  Let's explore the definition of bonding.

Bonding is the ability to establish an emotional attachment to another person.  It's the ability to relate to another on the deepest level.  When two people have a bond with each other, they share their deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other with no fear that they will be rejected by the other person. ~Dr. Henry Cloud

Can you think of anyone in your life you have this level of trust and intimacy with?  If you cannot, think about why.  Do you have fears of rejection based on some past experience?  Do you have anxiety about your own shortcomings that keep you from sharing with others?  If so, think about our heavenly Father.  He made you in His own image.  He knows your deepest thoughts and failures, and He loves you.  He will never reject you or forsake you.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.  

Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.

If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.  

We love each other because He loved us first.

~1John 4:7, 18-19 (NLT)

Consequences of Isolation

Yesterday, Amazon faithfully delivered a Blu-Ray of Disney's Frozen.  I admit, I am watching it for the second day in a row.  I loved the story about true love and how the writers shifted away from the old Disney formula of a "true love's kiss" and into real sacrificial love.

Today, I found myself thinking more about the damage the girls' parents'  mistake did to each of their girls.  By hiding them in the castle and isolating them from others, and even from each other, they both suffered.

Elsa was not allowed to ask forgiveness from her sister from accidentally hurting her.  Instead, her parents directed her to hide her talent and sheltered her.  They did not allow her a controlled setting to learn her talent where mistakes would be allowed and accepted.  As a consequence, she grew up lonely and afraid.  When she ran away from people, she let it go, and determined life was better alone.  When her sister confronted her, she was still dangerously uncontrolled.

Anna, her sister was lonely herself, but headstrong and way too trusting of people.  She fell in love with the first man who paid attention to her.  Alas, but this man had unscrupulous intentions.  He only wanted the power of the being married to the princess.  He even later admitted to planning to kill the queen to become the king.

The story continues to lessons learned about true love, for both the girls.

The pain of isolation reaches deep inside of us.  Some of us retreat deeper into the isolation, building fortified walls to protect us from the pain around us.  Others of us are so desperate for others' approval we fail to recognize the warning signs of the people who "friend" us.  Where is the happy medium?  How do we face our fears, and how do we know who to trust?

The Bible talks about how to do this. Solomon has many words to describe deception.  "People may cover their hatred with pleasant words, but they're deceiving you.  They pretend to be kind, but don't believe them.  Their hearts are full of many evils." ~Proverbs 26:24-25 (NLT).  Solomon also says this: "There are 'friends' who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." ~Proverbs 18:24.  Solomon knew the definition of a true friend was shown in the actions of true love (or agape).  We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to be real with others, yet be discerning enough to know when they are being real with us.

It takes practice.  Get out and be real with others.

Love Beyond Life

Spoiler alert... don't read this if you haven't seen the movie, Star Trek Into Darkness!

Do we know what it means to love these days?  I just went to see a great movie last night, and was surprised by the message I took from it.  We saw the new Star Trek - Into Darkness movie, and I must admit, I had read a spoiler before going to see it, so I thought I would know what lesson I would take and write about.  I was wrong.

"We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.  So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters." ~1John 3:16 (NLT)

Towards the beginning of the movie, Spock is willing to lay his life down for the "needs of the many." What he doesn't understand is just how much his death would impact his friends, and how hurt they were that he would just willingly put himself in harms way.  He says later, "I did feel those feelings when my world died, so I choose not to feel.  It doesn't mean I don't care."  Kirk wonders how he can do that.  Personally, I know I have buried feelings and not allowed myself to feel.  I never knew that others would perceive me to not care.  

Later in the movie, we see a twist... and Kirk is given the opportunity to lay his life down for his friends.  We see Spock run down to see his friend dying.  He says to Spock, "how do you choose not to feel? I don't want to feel scared."  But, we see Spock with tears in his eyes say, "I don't know, I seem to be having difficulty right now."  Spock suddenly experiences very real emotions.  

When Kirk dies, Spock feels rage and a thirst for revenge at the loss of his friend.  

This is what the disciples must have experienced when Jesus died.  There must have been tremendous pain, fear, confusion and anger at the loss of their beloved friend and leader.  How much more pain would they have to endure?  

As we go through life, we start to see more and more that life is pain.  We see how much more we need our friends to care for and love.  We need to think of them when we consider eternity.  Will they be joining us in Paradise?  These are the friends we give our lives for.  

"This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.  There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." ~John 15:12-13 (NLT)

Fighting Burnout

Iron Man 3 will be released on Friday.  I'm getting excited to see the movie after seeing the trailer.  If you haven't see the trailer, click the link.

What's interesting is the angle this movie seems to take.  This is a very powerful, rich man who could have anything he wants.  He has the girl, he has the money, and yet, there is this level of anxiety and worry that seems to overwhelm him.  He is consumed with the idea that he needs to build more and more super suits, and the obsession takes his attention away from his girl.

Have you ever felt that level of anxiety that consumes you?  Do you have obsessions that take over your life, because you worry about what may happen if you don't focus on them?  Jobs can take over our lives, if we don't be mindful of what is important.

Solomon writes about life and how much the pursuit of wealth is meaningless.  Listen to this passage he writes:

"So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety?  Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest.  It is all so meaningless.  So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work.  Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.  For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from Him?" ~Ecclesiastes 2:22-23 (NLT)

Eat, drink and find satisfaction in the work, but then he points out nothing has meaning without Him.  He goes on to say that we need companions to get through our short time on earth before we go to heaven.  The secret to fighting burnout is to find relationships that have meaning.  We need each other to be able to fight the battles that we face in our daily walk.  We need our loving friends.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

~Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)

Don't be afraid to share your real self with others.  This helps you be in the kind of relationship that will help you get through this life until we go to heaven.  This helps with the burnout we face in our daily walk.  We need our friends.  We need love.