There are times in my life that I cannot muster up any feelings. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing saddens me. I feel nothing. Life has no color. These are the times that I must walk through each day pretending to care. These are the times I just want to escape. These are the times I just want to go "home" (my heavenly home).
I have no reason to feel depressed or down. Life is good. I have a home, family, friends, job, necessary material things, and a foundational belief in God. So, why are there these times of my life that I find myself lost in the dark wilderness? There's really no excuse for how I feel, and yet, here I stand in the dark.
When I get like this, I go to the writings of David and Solomon in the Bible. These were two men who could describe this feeling, this despair, with such depth. Consider this passage:
"So I came to hate life because everything done here under the sun is so troubling. Everything is meaningless - like chasing the wind." ~Ecclesiastes 2:17 (NLT)
It helps to know I am not alone in my despair. God is always there. It is when I am here in the darkness of the wilderness that I find my hope. He alone is my refuge, my rock, my shelter. When I focus on Him and who He is, then my despair lessens. I know I can count on Him.
Then, as I spend time in His presence, He begins to show me the light. He shows me what is good and what is promised. As I look at life through His eyes, I see what He cares about. I see who He loves. I see His purpose for me. It is when I live my life in this purpose, then I feel right again.
We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice.
for we trust in His holy name.
Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
for our hope is in You alone.
~Psalms 33:20-22 (NLT)
It's dark at night on the earth. It's dark until sunrise. The closer the sun comes to where we are viewing the horizon from, the brighter it becomes until the darkness is dispelled by the approaching morning light.
ReplyDeleteThe world is a dark place without Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world.
Which makes me wonder ... can we really see Jesus, as the light of the world, until we have been in the dark a while? No ... you do not have to sit outside in the dark. If, however, you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness is required.
Maybe darkness is required to really see the light of Jesus in this world.
Carl